Keeping My Head High – Lockdown Is Making Me Go Downhill


One month into the lockdown, and I lost my job of six years. I cannot blame my boss for closing down his business. We were in the travel agency industry, and right now, who’s traveling? I mean, it will take a long time before tourism will jump back. This pandemic has destroyed the lives of billions of people on this planet. And I am one of them.

A few months before the lockdown, I discovered that my husband was cheating on me with their company secretary. I had work, and I thought that everything was okay with me financially. Being a travel agent, for me, gave me financial freedom, and I was one of the best in our company. And so, when I found out he was philandering, I threw him out. Of course, that also meant paying for everything within the house.

We didn’t have children, thank God for that, because if we had, I would be broken down even more. I was struggling to take care of myself when I lost my job, and having a child would only make it harder for me. Not that I don’t want to have kids. I do, but it was just a blessing that it wasn’t the right time for me.


Why was I so down? How did the lockdown make me go downhill even more? Well, I lost my husband. I lost my job, and I am losing my mind. I have a bit of money saved up, but I know it won’t last long for me. Without work, I could survive for the next six months, but after that, I would be poor, and I don’t want that to happen. It is very stressful, and right now, nobody is hiring. It is a global economic catastrophe just because of a virus that has spread the world, one that doesn’t have a vaccine or cure. It is so unfair that in a matter of months, everything is lost for most. Businesses have gone bankrupt, and families are hungry. In my mind, if I don’t find a job soon, I will lose this house. I will lose my car. And I will lose my life.

For the whole month of March, I went on and searched for work online. As I have said, no one was hiring. My skill set was different from what was needed now. People were into cooking and selling it online. Or into medical services, which I have no interest in. My forte was in sales, selling a dream of going from one place to another, but how is that possible now? There are no airlines even. Touring is banned and prohibited.


My mother checked on me, and she caught me off guard. I was so low at that time, and maybe she felt it. She called me on Skype, and we had a long talk. My mother said that I had to adapt to the changing times. I have no choice but to move forward. Or else, I will be sucked into that black hole, and I may never become the person that I am supposed to be. It was understandable. But no matter how hard life kicks us or pull us down, we always have to get back up. We always have to keep fighting. My mom said, keep your head high, baby girl.

And I did.

So now, it may not be what I want, but I am slowly getting my grasp on things. I also tried a new thing, which is online sessions. Since I love history so much and have been to many countries, a private school hired me (part-time) to be their history sub. Can you imagine being a teacher? I can’t even believe it, but I am here, and it is the start of my moving on with life.

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